He/She/They: How We Talk about Gender and Why It Matters

Go-to expert on gender identity, Schuyler Bailar, offers an essential, urgent guide that changes the conversation.

Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They clearly and compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving and why allowing trans youth to play sports is good for all kids. With a relatable narrative rooted in facts, science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized.

Schuyler Bailar didn't set out to be an activist, but his very public transition to the Harvard men's swim team put him in the spotlight. His choice to be open about his transition and share his experience has touched people around the world. His plain-spoken education has evolved into tireless advocacy for inclusion and collective liberation. In He/She/They, Schuyler uses storytelling and the art of conversation to give us the essential language and context of gender, meeting everyone where they are and paving the way for understanding, acceptance, and, most importantly: connection. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, answering the question, "does it get better?" with a resounding yes, celebrating radical trans joy. Myth-busting, affirming, compassionate, and fierce, He/She/They is a crucial, urgent--and lifesaving--book that forever changes the conversation about gender.

Publisher: Hachette Go
Published: 10/17/2023
Pages: 384
ISBN: 9780306831874


Review Citation(s):
Kirkus Reviews 08/15/2023
Publishers Weekly 08/21/2023
Booklist 09/01/2023 pg. 8

About the Author
Schuyler Bailar (he/him) is the first transgender athlete to compete in any sport on an NCAA Division 1 men's team. By 15, he was one of the nation's top-20 15-year-old breast-strokers. By 17, he set a national age-group record. In college, he swam for Harvard University, on Harvard's winningest team in 50 years. Schuyler's difficult choice--to transition while potentially giving up the prospect of being an NCAA champion--was historic. His story has appeared everywhere from 60 Minutes to The Ellen Show to The Washington Post. Schuyler's tireless advocacy has earned him numerous honors including LGBTQ Nation's Instagram Advocate for 2020 and the Harvard Director's Award. In addition to being one of the top social media LGBTQ educators and advocates, Schuyler is a leading DEI speaker and advisor with clients that include the NCAA, USA Swimming, Capital One, Microsoft, and hundreds of other organizations, colleges, and schools. Schuyler also continues his academic pursuits in the Evolutionary Psychology Lab and the Valera Clinical Psychology Lab at Harvard. In 2021, Schuyler released his first middle-grade novel, Obie Is Man Enough. He lives in New York, NY.